This has been a fun and personally gratifying article for me to write for the past 13 years or so, and it’s hard to believe that it’s been that long. Over those tumultuous years of ups and downs, I have covered food science, proper simmering techniques, stories of love and intrigue, how to gut a fish, the births of my younger children and yes, even the sorrowful loss of loved ones. I’ve even discussed such nonsensical things as my dog doing her business on the front yard; truth-be-told it’s a pinnacle part of the introduction to my second book that just sits on my shelf collecting dust, but let’s not focus on that.

If you’ve been reading this for more than a month, you’ve had an in-depth look into my diary, so you know more about me than I do myself. You see, I tend to forget what I write about the moment it’s laid down in ink, or virtual font-size-12 Calibri as it were. People often say something to the effect of “Dude, I saw your article!” and I typically respond with “Huh?”

It’s a gift, I guess … or maybe a curse. I still haven’t figured that out.

One common thread, though, is people stopping me to tell me that my recipes are nice, “but I’d never try to make them myself.” They come across as way too difficult. I have struggled with this, as most of the things that I write about are not too hard. Yes, you might burn the first batch or two, as did I when I tried them, but that’s all part of the learning curve.

Hell, I’ve burnt food to the point that the fire department knocked on my front door. It’s what we do as chefs. But, to answer the call, I’ve reverted to grilled cheese sandwiches (although they were pretty tasty), pulled pork and a thousand other renditions of comfort food.

I’ve tried to appease the masses in our beautiful, little pond by slimming down the recipes, even going so far as to create what I still consider my masterpiece; Vitamix-fresh peanut butter with hand-crafted preserves, tart Michigan cherries and celery.

And my editor, Josh, exclaimed “did you seriously just send me Ants on a Log?”

Yes, I did. Yes, Josh, I did.

But that’s OK, because I’ve also had readers who thanked me for my 70-step veal stock recipe that had maybe four lines of prose. Mayhap that was because they didn’t have to read my banter. Who knows?

Either way, this evening I am going to challenge you with a recipe that truly is not difficult in the least. It may seem daunting, and you might need to invest in some basic sous vide equipment, but once you make this seafood mousse and a simple terrine, you will find yourself in a whole different arena. Once you master the bubble gum (you’ll get that when you read the recipe), the sky truly is the limit.

So go, buy a circulator. Make a mousse. Roll a terrine. And for god’s sake, just have fun.

Seafood Terrine (just to annoy you)

enough for 4 people

2 five-ounce Lobster tails

3 ounces Scallops, side muscle and all

3 ounces White fish of your choice, blood line removed

2 ounces Shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 whole egg

Salt & Pepper, as needed

the tiniest amount of nutmeg you can muster

3 Tbsp. Heavy cream

1 Tbsp. Fresh tarragon

1. I’m coming out of the gate strong. If you don’t have a sous vide circulator, snip out this article and save it while it comes in the mail from Anova or ChefSteps
2. Let’s assume you have a circulator; take your shell-free lobster tails and orient them in opposite directions on some plastic wrap, making sure to have about a thousand layers (hyperbole but use a lot) around them
3. Simply roll them up and secure them with some butcher’s twine
4. Cook in a water bath at 167F until half-cooked and remove to an ice bath
5. When cooled, flatten them by cutting through but not all the way. Remove extra meat as a particulate in the mousse and set the “skins” aside
6. In a food processor, combine the scallops, fish, shrimp and eggs and blend and scrape until at the “bubble gum” consistency. It will literally bounce back like that piece of Dubble-Bubble that you chewed for three weeks in 3rd grade
7. Season and add the heavy cream, blending well. Fold in the tarragon
8. Lay out some new plastic wrap and artfully lay out the lobster “skins” so that there are little to no holes
9. Place some of the mousse on the skins closest to you so that you have enough to make a quasi-sushi roll out of it
10. Roll it up and go back to your “thousand layer” hyperbole, only this time use a safety pin to prick tiny holes every fifth roll or so
11. Tie off the ends securely with twine and tighten to make it solid
12. Cook in the 167F water bath for about 30 minutes or until the mousse is cooked
13. Remove to an ice bath, or better yet to an icebox where it can rest overnight
14. When ready to serve, simply slice and serve on fresh bitter greens, pickled vegetables and whatever vinaigrette strikes your fancy